Having Kids Changes You

I'm afraid I've been thinking. (a dangerous pastime, I know)

And I realized that I am not the girl I once was.

I'm also not yet the girl I intend to be, so I'm somewhere in the middle.

I used to make my bed every day. (ok, lets be honest, I used to sleep on top of my made bed with an extra blanket so that it was automatically made when I got up)

I used to write in my journal every day. (ok, that was in high school and was pretty much exclusively obsessing about boys, so not terribly worthwhile...)

I used to eat PB&J every day. (I'm totally down to like 5 times a week. Did you know there are 500 calories in one of those puppies?! So sometimes the guilt gets to me!)

I used to always have eye make-up on. (there are days I'm now lucky to get showered!)

I used to wish for a husband and a home. (I even used to wish for a house)

I used to speak before thinking and even then not think enough about what was said.

I used to be a smarty-pants. (I like to think the smart has settled and the ty-pants part has been out-grown)

There is still a gap though...

I intend to be a mom who loves my kids so much it cannot be contained. That it spills out and gets on everyone near us and they are infected with the love as well.

I intend to be someone who is truly selfless and serving first.

I intend to be a worker, not a lazer. (not to be confused with laser)

I intend to be a better listener.

I intend to be a published author, but I'm afraid of that so I'm taking it quite slow.

And so I ponder.....

How do I bridge the gap?