They say you should search the scriptures often, and apply them to your own life.
2 Thessalonians 3:13
But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing.
Today has been a day to try the patience of my very soul. Sockie is sick (fever and hacking cough) so the boys and I stayed home from church while the Doctor and Grapes went. Sockie was not the child wearing my soul today, however.Pencil is the one. After today, I just know he has a diabolical plan to make my blood boil right out of my brain and make me keel over dead.
In the 12 hours since he woke today he has: (in no particular order)
*stolen a computer game disc out of the desktop
*thrown not one, not two, but three full-out bawling tantrums about milk
*broken a DVD disc (RIP, Jo-Jo's Circus)
*yanked the front plate off the Wii
*opened the TV remote's battery compartment and lost the batteries
*ripped Sock's calendar off the wall (the one I hung very high on purpose)
*'brushed' the bathroom mirror with his toothbrush and toothpaste
*escaped into the rocky backyard while barefoot
*climbed into the dishwasher so that he could 'took' on my counter with any and all dishes he could find. He concocted a rice/milk/cracker mix in the 1 cup measuring cup and stirred with four different spoons/spatulas
*stolen a large serrated knife from the dishwasher and run willy-nilly for about 30 seconds before I could catch him
*poured 2/3 of a container of syrup onto his empty plate while I carried pancakes from the griddle
*found and used 4 different crayon stubs. (he found them in the recesses of his imagination, apparently, because I could have sworn the crayons were all put away) He used three of the four on paper though...
*colored turquoise swiggles on my white kitchen blinds (see above)
*dumped out a full glass of water, intentionally
*climbed up into the bathroom sink, opened the medicine cabinet, and helped himself to the chap stick and band-aids
*thrown a rock and hit me and a toy car and hit Sock
*very nearly broken his crib's springs by bouncing on them again
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| I think this was the last band-aid in the whole house. |
The Book of Mormon says:
Alma 37:34
34 Teach them to never be weary of good works, but to be meek and lowly in heart; for such shall find rest to their souls.
Modern revelation in the Doctrine and Covenants continues the thought:
Doctrine and Covenants 89:18-20
18 And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones;
21 And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them. Amen.
And I've quoted this scripture on the blog before: (here)
Isaiah 40:31
31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
But the one that clearly spoke to me today was this one, also in Isaiah:
Isaiah 57:10
10 Thou art wearied in the greatness of thy way; yet saidst thou not, There is no hope: thou hast found the life of thine hand; therefore thou wast not grieved.
I love my children, and I am very thankful I get to be a stay-at-home mom. I wouldn't trade it for anything. (And I'm saying that still, after living through today!) But I would be less than honest if I didn't say I am wearied in the greatness of this job called motherhood. I have felt in my heart to cry to the Heavens, THERE IS NO HOPE! I have nothing left and I am empty to my very core!!
I am praying that a good night's rest will help me remember the life of my hand- the plan and the reason I am a momma. I am praying to remember the *enabling power of Christ's Atonement, and to remember to rely on Him always.
Here's hoping that tomorrow I will not be grieved.
*This is a devotional talk given by Elder David A. Bednar when I was in college and he was still President of BYU-Idaho. This talk changed my perspective on the Atonement and continues to teach, edify, and heal me. PLEASE read it!
Sister, I am with you entirely... entirely. Our crazy toddlers have not idea-- the cuteness, the inherent unconditional love... survival mechanisms! Sending my love and true mother empathy-- in joy and weariness.
ReplyDeletePS: I was in the Hart for that talk too. Changed my life. Few things do that, but, like you said, Pres. Bednar's inspired words and counsel blessed me to develop a much more personal relationship and refined dependence on my Savior and I will be forever grateful...
I meant to comment on this the other day, but life got crazy and I never did. Thanks so much for sharing this, I have very seriously similar feelings and I really appreciated your sharing. This job is so much harder than I thought it would be, and frankly I feel emptier sometimes than I've ever been before. I'm terrified when I hear the story of the wise and foolish virgins with their lamps and I realize mine must be empty because of how tired and not spiritual I feel way too often. I try to refill the lantern but I can't seem to fill it faster than I burn it. Sigh. BUT I do know that the kids are growing up and maybe one day I can send them to school and sit on the couch reading my scriptures and getting filled again (ha ha ha). Thanks again for sharing, I love those talks! Also I love motherhood, I'm not down on it but I do empathize with the tiredness of it all at times. It's the best of times and the worst of times, in my opinion. :) Here's to relying on the enabling power of the Atonement!
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